furu

Equally senseless, equally lovely
Environmental predispositions aside, there is is this potential of the flesh
and the flesh-brain behind it
And so to environ it
ans so to envision it
and the sight to the brain to the nerves--


we are very lovely veggies, synthesizing sight to lonely bones to flesh to mind to kilojoules of crushing fondness.


kkeushi.

This should by no means be mistaken for optimism, which is what it will certainly look like in hindsight. Rather, it is an imperfect translation of a pleasure that resists codification but desires communication.

ggeumae kkal

Looks like Summer.

I am excite.

I am glad.

I are sleep.

[ajja]

Cosmogony

And the cosmos, which was born first in shades of bright red, then darker red, then purple, then near-black, finally fawn buried under layers of atmosphere, was split in two, because it wouldn't fit pretty on a map all at once;

and each half bled from a great stone pot filled with matchsticks and potent roots;

and they say, if one overturns the pot from which the stars of two skies flow, each half will invert itself, and the cosmos will take the form of a giant cuttlefish, and all its parts and processes will be that of the cuttlefish.

I

Sometimes I think I want this smell to linger on me forever. In context, this though is so absurd that I must laugh. Maybe that is why I do it. Maybe that is why it is so absurdly beautiful to me. "Before it had a name"--that is the phrase of interest.

II

Every time I try to use words like 'health,' 'normal,' or 'truth,' something goes wrong. Something bitters in their speaking--or yelling, as I sometimes do before I can remember not-to-do. I think I will stop trying to use them, as if they are things that existed in this world.

III

There are many songs in my Grooveshark I no longer listen to, or cannot, at least, without infecting the organs with a certain strangeness. In Morel, the recording of his hand cost the criminal his original limb; perhaps, unintentionally, I have left too much beat in another sort of beat, and now the sound, played over, confuses and confounds the original.

The point of interest for me is that this has never happened with a classical piece. It is only songs of vox that confound the fox.

Or dog.

IV

It is not that it is any better here than there; it is just that...that my dreams are fuller. What is a zombie there is allowed to be a vampire, or a ghost--something whole--here. There are dreams that are so pleasant that one wakes unsatisfied; there are dreams so terrible that to wake is pleasure. And there are, between these, leaning toward the first, dreams that are quite impossibly pleasurable by every rule of the waking world (that is, the same arrangement of artifacts would not evoke the same response), so that one wakes with a strange, concave satisfaction--the knowledge that these are the closest one will come to living such things, and so one may count them as close to living as they should like, and it is no trouble at all if you are the only one to believe in whatever distance is chosen. I am not afraid to let these things live on. Not at all.

V

I am a competitor. I am a sore looser. I am sick of my lack of critical rigor lately. SLUGGISH FIRE ROOT: I have grown old and young again and am determined now to do everything by your hungry laws. I am sick of stupid shit and I want a godfucking drink.

Wait

In the corner of the enclosure there is a hole.

We cannot say how long it has been here, because we have until now mistaken it for one of the entrances to the tunnel system.

It is wandered to and stared into; we are sure it is not a well--there is not enough water here for that. The occasional flash flood may fill it, but whatever gathers soaks quickly back into the thirsty dirt.

Whatever it is, it has lost its function. Or else, this is its function, though we cannot possibly see how. No--we are certain there must be some part withheld. It is in the tensing of the limbs, and then the resting of them when they stiffen. There is a waiting. Sometimes, hands clasped at the edge, it almost seems as if the wait is for a nonexistent (or endlessly patient) god. Accounts vary as to whether the hands are clasped in prayer or wrung together, but these gestures (and their attributed meanings) exist outside of quarantine. Well aware of the distortions that occur within the test field, we try to avoid such quick connections and remember that we are foreigners here. What is initially recognizable are remnants, only, here, and from there, our study must build blindly.

CONFI%#@&^D ENT%!

17.17

F i v e 7 C h o r d

S w e a t b r o w n f r u i t

[ s i c ][sic]

Behavior #21

She abruptly abandons whatever she is doing, wherever she is doing it, and walks fourteen measured paces forward. At the end of fourteen paces, if she is able to complete them, she begins again, from scratch, the task she'd left behind.

But this only when she completes the steps, and this only a meager 30% of the instances we have observed; it should be noted that since observation of this particular behavior began, this percentage has decreased substantially. More often than not, given the point of origin, she will run into the desk or a wall before completing the set. This is when the behavior we are most interested in emerges.

Rather than turning to redirect or retrace her steps that way, she will walk backwards, exactly as she came. Her pace is still measured, but quicker, and she exceeds fourteen paces almost every time--indeed, the only things that stop her are the cell walls or, in those cases when less than fourteen paces are recorded, the tunnel outlets. Often, in this backtracking, she steps on and damages the task she departed from. Once stopped, by wall or outlet, she sits and, rather than restarting her task, sits only. This goes on for some time. On those occasions when she faces the camp, it has been observed that her eyes are closed; the only sign that she is both alive and awake is the sound of her breath, which is too pronounced for sleep.

In these instances, the task that was abandoned is rarely taken up ever again, perhaps suggesting (very tentatively) that the link between the task behaviors and the pacing behaviors is not arbitrary. If this is true, then those tasks that are abandoned are those that do not function; those that are returned to must be those that prove worthy of further investment and work. It is possible that these same tasks have later been tracked over and scrapped when their potential has been exhausted; as the pacing was expressed to be the behavior of interest, records pertaining to the tasks have been kept brief. Perhaps this fledgling link will encourage more study in that direction.