Alterity

In an alternate universe I am an art major who wishes she was an english major Working on an edgy graphic novel about a cyborg and a robot I drink coffee I play a lot more games Fillin' commissions on a tablet Wear skirts a lot Skin toasted like I'd stayed in my birthstate Mutt and a dutch bunny at my feet while I work Three more piercings, one a dare Favorite animal is a lion The boy in front of me draws so much better than me that it drives me crazy and I hate it and I love him Maybe I speak slower Maybe my bike breaks down outside a friend's house and it rains and we order pizza and I laugh and am free

"Freedom; I am the wind."
-Kagura

There are times when I can feel the breathe of other worlds at the back of my neck; it is thrilling and haunting. I am so tempted to turn and find the lips of my other self and mumble something sweet against them--that's all it takes to change skins with one's selves, you know. But then it up and ghosts away, and that sudden closeness, sudden farness, is dizzying. Like a speeding car lifting the hairs of your neck. It was a bit much at the time. So I had to tear myself a new mouth. I don't use it often; only occasionally to scream and grin.

I was born in a valley of kings
This is a dangerous and strange thing to say

Theoretical probability and empirical probability don't link up for me. And I don't know how to make up that disparity. I don't know how to shake this, whatever it is. If I knew, I'd do it. I'd jump. I'd shake. I'd chase. If I just knew.

What..what's wrong with me?

In another universe, theoretical probability is on my side, and empirical close on its heels.

I will never turn in time to find her there, pressed against my back; I am not quick enough. My world is not quick enough for me to turn and steal from her. Trade with her.

And never the two shall meet. Unless some Romulans get really pissed.

But that doesn't mean I can't take leaves from her book.